SxE question

[straightXed]

i'm tired of this.. you read what you want to read.. that somehow destroys the debate..

I read what you write.

i've said numerous times that it's my own opinion (talking about what relationship is/isn't) and you reply: "Just because you don't see it as viable it doesn't mean its not a relationship".. i didn't say that.. i only showed my personal perspective...

I am well aware of this but i am asking you why you hold this opinion, what makes you think that these other things aren't relationships, which you still don't answer. I know its your perspective but its like me saying in my perspective marriage isn't a relationship...sure its my perspective but it does help if i am able to quantify why i think that.

talking about sex: my bad. i should put it in different way - i have nothing against "hey brother, i have a little problem with my mate" type of discussion among friends.. what bothers me is statements about one's counterpart made in public which can everyone hear.. maybe i'm into victorian ideals (i'm not but if you see it that way..) but this makes me feel embarassed for the counterpart. i don't give a fuck if it's now widely accepted. i won't be slave to what society thinks is ok.

But all this is rooted from a term that means sexual intercourse that you original said you find disrespectful or makes people less gentlemanly. But i challenge that, it has no bearing on that, the word is nothing, you seem to find a particular behaviour ungentlemanly and disrespectful but thats not synonamous with the word fuck. And the word fuck is the root issue here...you shouldn't have an issue with that word as by its very definition is sexual intercourse in this discussion and thats simply not a bad thing. If you have a problem with debauched hedonistic young lad/ladette style culture then fine but i am contending that the word fuck is not necessarily what you should be against. Theres nothing to say it defines a different type of sexual relationship than another, it refers to intercourse and nothing more...you attach the rest of the meaning yourself.

If you don't wish to see sex discussed then yeah i would see your ideals dated but you are now saying you don't wish for that. Its just what was written and thats all i have to go on so that would be why the response was what it was. Although you don't have to just talk about sex when there is a problem, it shouldn't be a taboo subject at all really but obviously like everything there is a time and a place. If you discuss sexual maters using any wording so others in public can hear then i'm sure you will be left with the same quandry, its no reason to be against the word fuck but to be against poor awareness of social skills. I mean i can fully understand being against discussing certain things in public but again thats not solely a problem with the word fuck is it.

bitch/fuck:thx, i needed clearance on this subject.. in czech it's different - "fuck" is as disrespectful as "bitch"..

well english dictionarys will give you a different definition. Sure the word can be used as an offensive one and very often is but there is also a definition to it which you have to accept which is:

fuck -
verb (used with object)
1. to have sexual intercourse with.

where as bitch is soley a derogatory term or of course a female dog. A dictionary definition follows:

bitch -
3. Slang.
a. a malicious, unpleasant, selfish person, esp. a woman.
b. a lewd woman.

Comparing the two you have to admit that the term fuck, whilst still a slang term, is really not comparable for terms of disrespect.

anyway, this whole thing is miles away from the original question of this topic..

so? You can't keep conversations in a neat little box, sometimes they take you other places, thats a beautiful thing.

[lo0m]

I read what you write.

and that's bad as i really should improve my English :-)

I am well aware of this but i am asking you why you hold this opinion, what makes you think that these other things aren't relationships, which you still don't answer. I know its your perspective but its like me saying in my perspective marriage isn't a relationship...sure its my perspective but it does help if i am able to quantify why i think that.

i dont know.. i always thought of a relationship as "long term relationship when 2(3,4,..) love each other".. maybe there's something lost in translation of the word "relationship".. or it's something rooted in me from my parents.. i honestly don't know.. but i don't see two people occasionally having sex in a relationship.. for me, relationship is a bunch of things.. some great, some maybe boring, some maybe eating your time, but that's just the way it is.. it is a bond.. and if someone takes only sex from all these things - it's like licking the sugar from a donut.. you didn't eat a donut if you just took the sweetest part..

But all this is rooted from a term that means sexual intercourse that you original said you find disrespectful or makes people less gentlemanly. But i challenge that, it has no bearing on that, the word is nothing, you seem to find a particular behaviour ungentlemanly and disrespectful but thats not synonamous with the word fuck. And the word fuck is the root issue here...you shouldn't have an issue with that word as by its very definition is sexual intercourse in this discussion and thats simply not a bad thing. If you have a problem with debauched hedonistic young lad/ladette style culture then fine but i am contending that the word fuck is not necessarily what you should be against. Theres nothing to say it defines a different type of sexual relationship than another, it refers to intercourse and nothing more...you attach the rest of the meaning yourself.

right

If you don't wish to see sex discussed then yeah i would see your ideals dated but you are now saying you don't wish for that. Its just what was written and thats all i have to go on so that would be why the response was what it was. Although you don't have to just talk about sex when there is a problem, it shouldn't be a taboo subject at all really but obviously like everything there is a time and a place. If you discuss sexual maters using any wording so others in public can hear then i'm sure you will be left with the same quandry, its no reason to be against the word fuck but to be against poor awareness of social skills. I mean i can fully understand being against discussing certain things in public but again thats not solely a problem with the word fuck is it.

yeah, not only discussing problems with sex.. but i see you got the idea

well english dictionarys will give you a different definition. Sure the word can be used as an offensive one and very often is but there is also a definition to it which you have to accept which is:

fuck -
verb (used with object)
1. to have sexual intercourse with.

where as bitch is soley a derogatory term or of course a female dog. A dictionary definition follows:

bitch -
3. Slang.
a. a malicious, unpleasant, selfish person, esp. a woman.
b. a lewd woman.

Comparing the two you have to admit that the term fuck, whilst still a slang term, is really not comparable for terms of disrespect.







so? You can't keep conversations in a neat little box, sometimes they take you other places, thats a beautiful thing.

[straightXed]

and that's bad as i really should improve my English :-)

It might help to use a dictionary for definitions instead of what you think and feel about something.

i dont know.. i always thought of a relationship as "long term relationship when 2(3,4,..) love each other".. maybe there's something lost in translation of the word "relationship".. or it's something rooted in me from my parents.. i honestly don't know.. but i don't see two people occasionally having sex in a relationship.. for me, relationship is a bunch of things.. some great, some maybe boring, some maybe eating your time, but that's just the way it is.. it is a bond.. and if someone takes only sex from all these things - it's like licking the sugar from a donut.. you didn't eat a donut if you just took the sweetest part..

Its great that you think and feel all that but theres one small problem! Just because you think a relationship is or isn't something it doesn't make it so. We have definitions of words otherwise they would quite quickly begin to mean nothing. Your donut analogy is all well and good but it applies more to you than i, as you are taking a word and finding a definitiojn that you like but then ignoring all the other definitions that are just as important to making up that word or donut. Your personal definition of "relationship" seems to need much more criteria than the commonly accepted definitions and thus it makes your usage of the word non descriptive of what you actually mean. Heres a quick and simple definition for you to look at and if you wish to disagree with dictionary definitions, well then thats fine.

relationship -

–noun
1. a connection, association, or involvement.
2. connection between persons by blood or marriage.
3. an emotional or other connection between people: the relationship between teachers and students.
4. a sexual involvement; affair.

right

Yes, right, i assume you are agreeing.

yeah, not only discussing problems with sex.. but i see you got the idea

Idea being that it has no bearing on the usage of the word fuck at all, its behaviour you are specifying and not the use of a word, correct. The usage of the word fuck with its simple definition can be used in many ways that should not be seen as disrespectful.

[xRobinhoodx]

What is everyones opinion on sex?

I think that if you're in a relationship when you love eachother and "practice the love" in form of sex (even in terms of not getting pregnant), it's nothing wrong.

[CarlaRant]

Sex? It's great! No really...really. ;)

You'll find that many people on this board have different opinions about sex. There are a handful that believe that sxe folks shouldn't sleep around. Then there are others that stand on the firm believe that your sexual lifestyle does not dictate if you are sxe or not.

My opinion....well, I've never stated it here. I think that people should be in a loving, responsible, committed relationship before giving themselves physically to someone else. However, I don't think someone who claims straightedge and doesn't agree with me on the sex issue is any less sxe.