I'll see my way out...

[XxXbassist]

Well the time has come. I happened to have the extreme misfortune of not having the strength to prevent myself from braking edge as of January 13, 2008 around 3:00 in the a.m.
I had irresponsible sex with my ex-girlfriend, a girl I had no intention of beginning a relationship with.
I feel absolutely pitiful. I fell as though my whole time as a straight edge individual was a lie. All that time I spent taking pride in something that I didn't even act on in my own life.
I know that I'm not a frequent poster and really didn't have a recognizable voice on this forum, but I would just like to say thank-you. I am deeply moved that so many people around the world still stick with this wonderful lifestyle. I salute all of you who are stronger than me.

I still plan to continue a drug free lifestyle. Thats one thing that will never change.

Thank-you and Farewell

[xsecx]

Well the time has come. I happened to have the extreme misfortune of not having the strength to prevent myself from braking edge as of January 13, 2008 around 3:00 in the a.m.
I had irresponsible sex with my ex-girlfriend, a girl I had no intention of beginning a relationship with.
I feel absolutely pitiful. I fell as though my whole time as a straight edge individual was a lie. All that time I spent taking pride in something that I didn't even act on in my own life.
I know that I'm not a frequent poster and really didn't have a recognizable voice on this forum, but I would just like to say thank-you. I am deeply moved that so many people around the world still stick with this wonderful lifestyle. I salute all of you who are stronger than me.

I still plan to continue a drug free lifestyle. Thats one thing that will never change.

Thank-you and Farewell

It doesn't sound to me like you broke edge, unless you were drunk while you were doing it.

[rodrigo]

THE HUMANITY! THE HORROR!!


i think you might be overreacting dude

[mouseman004]

Well the time has come. I happened to have the extreme misfortune of not having the strength to prevent myself from braking edge as of January 13, 2008 around 3:00 in the a.m.
I had irresponsible sex with my ex-girlfriend, a girl I had no intention of beginning a relationship with.
I feel absolutely pitiful. I fell as though my whole time as a straight edge individual was a lie. All that time I spent taking pride in something that I didn't even act on in my own life.
I know that I'm not a frequent poster and really didn't have a recognizable voice on this forum, but I would just like to say thank-you. I am deeply moved that so many people around the world still stick with this wonderful lifestyle. I salute all of you who are stronger than me.

I still plan to continue a drug free lifestyle. Thats one thing that will never change.

Thank-you and Farewell

Sex doesn't break edge man. And besides, even if it did, you don't have to leave the forums. Not everybody here is edge, for instance, I'm not.

[SgtD]

Sex doesn't break edge man. And besides, even if it did, you don't have to leave the forums. Not everybody here is edge, for instance, I'm not.
i thought you were! oh well.

[stepinsideissue]

i thought you were! oh well.



Caffeine dude. I think he still drinks caffeine.

[SgtD]

Caffeine dude. I think he still drinks caffeine.
what a fucking loser that mouseboy is!

[D1988]

what a fucking loser that mouseboy is!

His will is weak! He can't resist the Coke! This is possibly why he is MouseBOY and not MouseMAN.

[SgtD]

His will is weak! He can't resist the Coke! This is possibly why he is MouseBOY and not MouseMAN.
i bet it's even Pepsi he drinks!

[mouseman004]

His will is weak! He can't resist the Coke! This is possibly why he is MouseBOY and not MouseMAN.

Completely uncalled for! And to think, i was going to help you out with a hockey stick!

And hey, I would rather be weak willed then a hypocrit, mr "the internetz won't take me alive"

[mouseman004]

i bet it's even Pepsi he drinks!

No way man! I am definately a Coke addict! Who knows, maybe I'll be cool like CM punk and get the coke symbol tattooed on my arm to match the pepsi symbol on his arm!

[D1988]

Completely uncalled for! And to think, i was going to help you out with a hockey stick!

And hey, I would rather be weak willed then a hypocrit, mr "the internetz won't take me alive"

I love you really monkeybear.

Hey, I fought the internetz and the internetz won.

[SgtD]

No way man! I am definately a Coke addict! Who knows, maybe I'll be cool like CM punk and get the coke symbol tattooed on my arm to match the pepsi symbol on his arm!
You should! Timmy Chunks has the pepsi logo tattooed on him. And when your mother asks you if you were on drugs, you should just say: ALL I WANTED WAS A PEPSI!

[XxXbassist]

No I wouldn't ever touch alcohol/recreational drug with a past like mine,
But isn't that considered sexual promiscuoisy (Spell check?)?
And If I didn't brake edge, and if I didn't that would be rad, how would I explain to others whom I've told that I broke edge that ...I...didn't.. man that sounds confusing.....

Please help if you understood that.

[JoeyX]

well give more details about the situation as in....why did you do it? Do you still love this girl....did you do it for a quick fuck......did you do it to get back at her somehow?

[JoeyX]

and who cares what you've told other people. it doesn't matter what they say and/or believe, its about you, and who you are as a person, weather you broke edge or not, its your choice, its your life, don't worry about what anybody thinks. Personally if someone broke edge, I think its a bad choice to make, but again, my opinion shouldn't affect yours.

[xsecx]

well give more details about the situation as in....why did you do it? Do you still love this girl....did you do it for a quick fuck......did you do it to get back at her somehow?

why would any of this matter?

[xsecx]

No I wouldn't ever touch alcohol/recreational drug with a past like mine,
But isn't that considered sexual promiscuoisy (Spell check?)?
And If I didn't brake edge, and if I didn't that would be rad, how would I explain to others whom I've told that I broke edge that ...I...didn't.. man that sounds confusing.....

Please help if you understood that.

an awful lot of people don't think that sex really makes sense in terms of edge. It may have been mentioned in a song as the same record as straight edge, but it really isn't reflected in the greater straight edge culture. It's way too complicated an issue. What would be breaking edge in terms of sex? Making out with someone you didn't love? Petting? Oral? What about people that "fall in love" on a daily basis? It's way too complicated an issue to worry about whether or not it has anything to do with edge. That being said, it doesn't make it a good idea. If everyone who had sex that they later regretted, I don't think anyone would be edge past the age of 12.

[xCAMIx]

To me, sex and Edge has just always meant controlled sex. Just basically don't be a promiscuous slut.

[SgtD]

an awful lot of people don't think that sex really makes sense in terms of edge. It may have been mentioned in a song as the same record as straight edge, but it really isn't reflected in the greater straight edge culture. It's way too complicated an issue. What would be breaking edge in terms of sex? Making out with someone you didn't love? Petting? Oral? What about people that "fall in love" on a daily basis? It's way too complicated an issue to worry about whether or not it has anything to do with edge. That being said, it doesn't make it a good idea. If everyone who had sex that they later regretted, I don't think anyone would be edge past the age of 12.
this post should be made a sticky, or something.

[xsecx]

To me, sex and Edge has just always meant controlled sex. Just basically don't be a promiscuous slut.

yeah, but you're a sellout, so your opinion doesn't really matter.

[mouseman004]

yeah, but you're a sellout, so your opinion doesn't really matter.

That's kinda harsh..

[xsecx]

That's kinda harsh..

doesn't make it any less true.

[xcriterionmasterx]

it is your lifestyle, if you said, "i am straight edge: i don't drink, do drugs, smoke, have sex" then you are not edge anymore. but the whole sex thing is much different for most people. same with me and pop.

[Lifestyle_X]

To me, sex and Edge has just always meant controlled sex. Just basically don't be a promiscuous slut.
right on, same over here !

[D1988]

yeah, but you're a sellout, so your opinion doesn't really matter.

Boom.

[stepinsideissue]

You should! Timmy Chunks has the pepsi logo tattooed on him. And when your mother asks you if you were on drugs, you should just say: ALL I WANTED WAS A PEPSI!


Just one pepsi and she wouldn't give it to me!!!!!!

[JoeyX]

why would any of this matter?

Because I believe that if he still loved her he didn't necessarily break edge. If he did it for a quick fuck, then yea I believe he completely broke edge.

[straightXed]

Because I believe that if he still loved her he didn't necessarily break edge. If he did it for a quick fuck, then yea I believe he completely broke edge.

I believe thats crazy talk.

[stepinsideissue]

Because I believe that if he still loved her he didn't necessarily break edge. If he did it for a quick fuck, then yea I believe he completely broke edge.



So sex and edge are in terms of love?

[xsecx]

Because I believe that if he still loved her he didn't necessarily break edge. If he did it for a quick fuck, then yea I believe he completely broke edge.

so when is sex an edge break? What acts are ok and what aren't? How far is too far is you're not in "love"? What if you fell in love at first sight and never saw the person again?

[Meteor]

hm
All things are relative.
And nobodys perfect
even if it was an edge break: everyone makes mistakes
no reason to give up being edge
remember sxe is not a sect in which you get straight away (haha) disqualified if you do something against the rules.

[xsecx]

hm
All things are relative.
And nobodys perfect
even if it was an edge break: everyone makes mistakes
no reason to give up being edge
remember sxe is not a sect in which you get straight away (haha) disqualified if you do something against the rules.

an awful lot of people would disagree with that. it's not partial sobriety, it's total sobriety.

[JoeyX]

so when is sex an edge break? What acts are ok and what aren't? How far is too far is you're not in "love"? What if you fell in love at first sight and never saw the person again?

I don't believe in love at first sight. I believe that is total utter bullshit. How can you love somebody by just looking at them and shit like that. Love is because you care about someone, and love them emotionally and physically, not just physically "first sight". I believe it's ok if you TRUELY COMPLETELY are in love, and not just say you are to get some.

[xsecx]

I don't believe in love at first sight. I believe that is total utter bullshit. How can you love somebody by just looking at them and shit like that. Love is because you care about someone, and love them emotionally and physically, not just physically "first sight". I believe it's ok if you TRUELY COMPLETELY are in love, and not just say you are to get some.

yeah, but that's the point. how does it make sense for you dictate terms like love? How does it make sense within context of sober living? What scale should people use? How many people do you know that have "loved" someone at a point in time only to look back at it and realize that it was really love? Sex is a complicated enough issue without complicating it more with concepts of edge breaks when you can't really qualify or quantify it.

[JoeyX]

yeah, but that's the point. how does it make sense for you dictate terms like love? How does it make sense within context of sober living? What scale should people use? How many people do you know that have "loved" someone at a point in time only to look back at it and realize that it was really love? Sex is a complicated enough issue without complicating it more with concepts of edge breaks when you can't really qualify or quantify it.

So are you stating that sex has nothing or should have nothing to do with being edge? Because I think if someone goes has random sex, with random people, you might as well go do a line of coke or get smashed drunk. To me permiscuous sex is just as risky, disgusting, and morally wrong. You can die from having sex, by getting diseases, just like you can die from drugs and shit. I believe that if I love the person, by that point I would know if they had a disease or not, and I would know what to do from there. I don't think just slapping a condom on my dick, compensates for it all. Wearing a condom is like saying in comparison, "oh I can just doing only a little coke tonight, or.... I won't drink TOOO much", its the cop out, the ....safe way. I just think permiscuous sex is fucking gross as shit, and something I wouldn't do, EVEN if I wasn't edge.

[straightXed]

So are you stating that sex has nothing or should have nothing to do with being edge? Because I think if someone goes has random sex, with random people, you might as well go do a line of coke or get smashed drunk. To me permiscuous sex is just as risky, disgusting, and morally wrong. You can die from having sex, by getting diseases, just like you can die from drugs and shit.

You can die from driving a car too. The point is drugs are plain no no's, but sex is ok in certain situations? The problem is the criteria is so vague and unclear, should you be married? Dating for a year? Dating for a month? You suggest being in love but you are completely unable to clarify a distinct and accurate criteria for what love is, the body naturally urges for sex and you may misconstrue that desire for love and be completely wrong, likewise you could find deep loving connections with people rather quickly. You simply can't give an accurate assertion that would carry across the board for everyone.


I believe that if I love the person, by that point I would know if they had a disease or not, and I would know what to do from there. I don't think just slapping a condom on my dick, compensates for it all. Wearing a condom is like saying in comparison, "oh I can just doing only a little coke tonight, or.... I won't drink TOOO much", its the cop out, the ....safe way. I just think permiscuous sex is fucking gross as shit, and something I wouldn't do, EVEN if I wasn't edge.

Wearing a condom is nothing like saying i'm going to do a little coke tonight, its a completely illogical likeness to make. You seem to class promiscuous sex as sex with someone you may not be in love with, now exactly how does being in love suddenly make it clean? I think you have some issues about sex that you aren't addressing. You think its ok if you are completely in love but can't someone fall in and out of love on different timescales? Bottom line is sex really doesn't have anything to do with being straightedge.

[xsecx]

So are you stating that sex has nothing or should have nothing to do with being edge? Because I think if someone goes has random sex, with random people, you might as well go do a line of coke or get smashed drunk. To me permiscuous sex is just as risky, disgusting, and morally wrong. You can die from having sex, by getting diseases, just like you can die from drugs and shit. I believe that if I love the person, by that point I would know if they had a disease or not, and I would know what to do from there. I don't think just slapping a condom on my dick, compensates for it all. Wearing a condom is like saying in comparison, "oh I can just doing only a little coke tonight, or.... I won't drink TOOO much", its the cop out, the ....safe way. I just think permiscuous sex is fucking gross as shit, and something I wouldn't do, EVEN if I wasn't edge.

Yes, I am saying that. It isn't reflected in the culture or the majority of people involved. You can die from driving fast, it's risky, is it against edge too? You can get hurt or die from skating, what about that? You can get infections and diseases from tattoo's and piercings. Where's the line with sex? how far is too far and what makes it promiscuous versus not?

[Meteor]

an awful lot of people would disagree with that. it's not partial sobriety, it's total sobriety.

If you're one of this "awful lot of people" then I just think you're too strict.
That's kinda conservative.

[xsecx]

If you're one of this "awful lot of people" then I just think you're too strict.
That's kinda conservative.

it's a movement centered around complete and total abstinence from drugs and alcohol. That's what it is. so how is that too strict?

[xcriterionmasterx]

this is dumb. you are edge for yourself. you should decide. i mean, i am not going to have sex with someone i don't know, drink, smoke or do drugs. that makes me straight edge. to someone like xsecx he could say "i am not going to drink, smoke, or do drugs. i am straight edge". so someone's idea of when sex is wrong should be up to themselves, and if you don't think it is wrong, then that is your choice. just like it is your choice to be edge in the first place.

[straightXed]

this is dumb. you are edge for yourself. you should decide. i mean, i am not going to have sex with someone i don't know, drink, smoke or do drugs. that makes me straight edge. to someone like xsecx he could say "i am not going to drink, smoke, or do drugs. i am straight edge". so someone's idea of when sex is wrong should be up to themselves, and if you don't think it is wrong, then that is your choice. just like it is your choice to be edge in the first place.


Yeah but if its a personal choice its still nothing to do with straightedge. I am straightedge because i display the values that define what straightedge is, i don't add my personal choices to that definition. Everyone agrees that its something hardcore kids use to describe their abstinence from drugs, drink, smoking etc. Not everyone agrees with the sex part, in fact a lot of people disagree, its like if i said in order to be straightedge you need to skateboard. It would be me applying my personal preference to a term that doesn't just describe me and isn't used just to describe me. If he wants to make choices about sexual activity then thats up to him but it doesn't work to fit it into straightedge and make living by those choices something that determines edge breaking or not. So you are right, its up to the individuals involved to decide when to have sex and is not governed by straightedge, just like what i eat for dinner isn't a straightedge issue.

[JoeyX]

I don't know, I guess all of your arguements make sense. Either way, weather it has to do with straight edge or not, I think it's gross as shit, and I will NEVER have premiscuous sex, ever in my life.

[JoeyX]

You can die from driving a car too. The point is drugs are plain no no's, but sex is ok in certain situations? The problem is the criteria is so vague and unclear, should you be married? Dating for a year? Dating for a month? You suggest being in love but you are completely unable to clarify a distinct and accurate criteria for what love is, the body naturally urges for sex and you may misconstrue that desire for love and be completely wrong, likewise you could find deep loving connections with people rather quickly. You simply can't give an accurate assertion that would carry across the board for everyone.

That is not really a good arguement though. Yea you can die from driving in a car. But a car is a necessity to live in most ways, to get to work, to get to school, etc. Car accidents are not preventable. Living a life, not having promiscuous sex can be prevented. I can say no to having sex with some random chick, which most guys don't, cause they just want to bang some slut. Car accidents yes can be prevented by not driving, but they are necessary. Sex is NOT a need, it is a want, don't get me wrong, I LOVE SEX, but not in a gross disgusting possibly disease filled manner. I'm not saying people shouldn't have sex at all, I'm just saying, be safe about it, fucking any and every girl you possibly can is gross as fuck, and unhealthy in many ways. Driving a car has it's risks, but it's not like when I drive a car, I'm being unsafe about it, and not caring about my life and my health ya know.



Wearing a condom is nothing like saying i'm going to do a little coke tonight, its a completely illogical likeness to make. You seem to class promiscuous sex as sex with someone you may not be in love with, now exactly how does being in love suddenly make it clean? I think you have some issues about sex that you aren't addressing. You think its ok if you are completely in love but can't someone fall in and out of love on different timescales? Bottom line is sex really doesn't have anything to do with being straightedge.

I have no issues with sex, other than sex with random people is fucking gross, unless you truely care about the person and KNOW they don't have a disease. By me being in love with somebody, I trust them enough to tell me if they would have a disease or not, and what can be done to prevent me from getting it too. Now I know that yes people do lie sometimes, and trusting them could be the fault of getting a disease, but in the end I still did what I could to prevent getting disease as much as possible, rather than not caring and fucking random people.

[straightXed]

That is not really a good arguement though. Yea you can die from driving in a car. But a car is a necessity to live in most ways, to get to work, to get to school, etc.

You know something, procreation is a necessity to live also!!! Joking aside, the point of the argument is if your reason for not sleeping with someone is you can die then you should examine all the other trivial ways you can die. Cars aren't a necessity at all, thats foolish to think that, they are convenient and allow more opportunities but they aren't a necessity. Even if they were you could replace cars with numerous other things that could potentially kill yet aren't necessities.



Car accidents are not preventable. Living a life, not having promiscuous sex can be prevented.

Of course they are preventable, if drivers adhere to road safety, speed limits and keep focused then that prevents a percentage. If a pedestrian follows correct procedures and doesn't act dangerously that prevents other possible car accidents. Oh course they never had car accidents before cars either so of course it is preventable in a logical sense, perhaps you meant to say you could never fully eliminate car accidents, well thats debatable...theres always a possibility. Anyway what is promiscuous? Is that any sex you have with someone you don't actually love?



I can say no to having sex with some random chick, which most guys don't, cause they just want to bang some slut. Car accidents yes can be prevented by not driving, but they are necessary. Sex is NOT a need, it is a want, don't get me wrong, I LOVE SEX, but not in a gross disgusting possibly disease filled manner.

Wow, cars are not necessary, are you telling me you only use cars for things you absolutely need and its never used for things that you want? You do not need to do half the things people use cars for and more to the point whats interesting here is how you are calling the female participant a slut...is there a reason that you are calling the girl the slut and not the guy?






I'm not saying people shouldn't have sex at all, I'm just saying, be safe about it, fucking any and every girl you possibly can is gross as fuck, and unhealthy in many ways.

So safe promiscuous sex is ok? See i didn't get that impression from your last post, but if thats where you stand then cool.



Driving a car has it's risks, but it's not like when I drive a car, I'm being unsafe about it, and not caring about my life and my health ya know.

Yeah but promiscuous doesn't necessarily have to be unsafe, and love doesn't make sex safer, i mean using love as a term to define what safe sex is doesn't really stand. If your stance is one about educating people on the value of healthy and safe sex then i am behind it 100% not because i am straightedge but because its important. I am by no means encouraging everyone to sleep with whoever they can but i am saying that saying no promiscuous sex doesn't just rule out safe sex and saying only have sex when you are in love (something hard to define) is a strange notion that ignores a lot of healthy parts of sexual activity.







I have no issues with sex, other than sex with random people is fucking gross, unless you truely care about the person and KNOW they don't have a disease.

So if you know them and care for them you can be as promiscuous as you like?




By me being in love with somebody, I trust them enough to tell me if they would have a disease or not, and what can be done to prevent me from getting it too.

But you are aware you could have that same relationship sans love but by using love as the rule you negate those possibilities right?




Now I know that yes people do lie sometimes, and trusting them could be the fault of getting a disease, but in the end I still did what I could to prevent getting disease as much as possible, rather than not caring and fucking random people.

Yeah but you have narrowed your scope to be less about safe sex and more about only having sex when you find love, its a really odd rule that really wouldn't work in terms of straightedge because love is such a variable for everyone. If it works for you then thats great but i hope you see why it wouldn't work across the board?

[JoeyX]

You know something, procreation is a necessity to live also!!! Joking aside, the point of the argument is if your reason for not sleeping with someone is you can die then you should examine all the other trivial ways you can die. Cars aren't a necessity at all, thats foolish to think that, they are convenient and allow more opportunities but they aren't a necessity. Even if they were you could replace cars with numerous other things that could potentially kill yet aren't necessities.

Cars aren't a complete neccesity, but they are for people that don't live in a city, that don't have the option of walking 2-3 blocks each way to get whatever it is they made need. I mean yes in the end you could walk, but lets think about this, if everybody in the world walked, and didn't drive, all vehicles included, what would get done? Nothing. We need vehicles, weather it be motorized, a horse pulled it(haha), a bicycle, whatever, walking doesn't cut it for living. Unless you lived in the times where everything was in town, and was only a 5minute walk, which isn't like that in most places. Vehicles and transportation IS necessary, weather you use them or not. Almost everything is done with vehicles, how do you think you get your food at the store? Someone doesn't walk it there. In this day and age, I DO believe vehicles are a neccesity.





Of course they are preventable, if drivers adhere to road safety, speed limits and keep focused then that prevents a percentage. If a pedestrian follows correct procedures and doesn't act dangerously that prevents other possible car accidents. Oh course they never had car accidents before cars either so of course it is preventable in a logical sense, perhaps you meant to say you could never fully eliminate car accidents, well thats debatable...theres always a possibility. Anyway what is promiscuous? Is that any sex you have with someone you don't actually love?

Yes we can take precautions, and down the percentage of accidents. But in the end, as a whole, even if everybody obeyed the laws of driving, accidents would still happen, that's why they are called accidents, not "oh I was being stupid, and speeding". To me thats not an accident, thats someone being an idiot, and not thinking. So yea I agree with your statement saying you could never fully eliminate car accidnts. and yes I do believe that having sex with someone you don't actually love and care for, is promiscuous.





Wow, cars are not necessary, are you telling me you only use cars for things you absolutely need and its never used for things that you want? You do not need to do half the things people use cars for and more to the point whats interesting here is how you are calling the female participant a slut...is there a reason that you are calling the girl the slut and not the guy?

I still believe cars are a neccesity, and yes they are used for things that you want, but I know that if what I want is not worth risking driving at 3pm on a monday, when the roads are crazily busy, then I'll go sometime when I know it's not busy. And trust me, I'am in no way just calling the girl a slut, I think it is beyond gross on both ends, trust me. So I take back what I said when I called only the girl a "slut". I just think it is gross on both ends, and I wish people would see it for what it CAN do to people, and how you can die, from one night of fucking.



So safe promiscuous sex is ok? See i didn't get that impression from your last post, but if thats where you stand then cool.

I don't think sex with someone you don't love is ok, no matter if you would put a steel condom on, haha. For one thing, I have done it in my past, and to me there is no bond there at all, its boring, but thats just a personal opinion on that. But I guess if you're being safe about it, then it's not completely wrong, I just still don't see why someone would want to do it. Having sex with someone you love, is way more involved, way more caring, and way more fun haha. You cannot tell me that IF you had sex with some random person you didn't know, in the back of your mind, you can't tell me that you haven't thought while having sex with this random girl, "man, I hope she doesn't have anything". haha, it's kinda funny, but gross.





Yeah but promiscuous doesn't necessarily have to be unsafe, and love doesn't make sex safer, i mean using love as a term to define what safe sex is doesn't really stand. If your stance is one about educating people on the value of healthy and safe sex then i am behind it 100% not because i am straightedge but because its important. I am by no means encouraging everyone to sleep with whoever they can but i am saying that saying no promiscuous sex doesn't just rule out safe sex and saying only have sex when you are in love (something hard to define) is a strange notion that ignores a lot of healthy parts of sexual activity.

I agree with you 100% that love doesn't make sex safer, but I believe that if I love a girl, and I know she loves me back, that I'd be hoping she would tell me if she had something by then. If she doesn't, then it's like back to the car accidents thing, some things you can't prevent. But in the end, I'm not gonna have random sex with a girl, just because I want to get a random fuck. To be honest, that is so disrespectful towards a girl also, not that she is doing anything about it to prevent it either, because she would be involved in the other half of the sexual act. But it is still disrespectful in my eyes, and once again....gross.









So if you know them and care for them you can be as promiscuous as you like?

I believe if you love a girl, in the sense that you care for her, have real feelings for her, not just sexual feelings, if you would honestly DIE for her.(by the way I'm only saying her, because I'm saying it from my(a male) point of view, obviously. If you have passion for the other person, if you think about this person non-stop, if you know you want to spend the rest of your life with this person(weather you actually end up in that situation or not). If you love their personality, most of these things you can't attain in one night. You can't love someone's personality in one night, you have absolutely NO IDEA who they are, just from "hanging out" with them one time. How in the fuck can someone have passion for another person, besides lust, when hanging out with them for one even two nights? Another thing, I would never DIE for anybody after meeting them for only one day. Yea I'll agree that if you meet a girl one night, you might really seem to LIKE her, and think about her because you want to get to know her, but that isn't love. I know I never made the decision of wanting to spend the rest of my life with a girl, after one night of meeting her. I believe after all these things, plus more, are true for you, then you are truely in love.

All in all, for this question, I believe if you TRUELY love the girl, and she TRUELY loves you back, then by then you probably are dating, which to me is fine to have sex as much as you want, because you both care for each other, you're both being safe, you're both making an honest careful decision, not just fucking randomly without knowing the full consequences of what could happen, like pregnancy, or maybe the girl needs to tell the guy to put a condom on cause she has something. I guarantee you, that if anybody randomly had sex with someone who had a disease, they wouldn't know about it until later when they found out themselves they had it. You know just as much as I do, that a girl/guy is not gonna tell the other person they have a disease, after meeting them in one night.




But you are aware you could have that same relationship sans love but by using love as the rule you negate those possibilities right?

I don't understand this question completely.






Yeah but you have narrowed your scope to be less about safe sex and more about only having sex when you find love, its a really odd rule that really wouldn't work in terms of straightedge because love is such a variable for everyone. If it works for you then thats great but i hope you see why it wouldn't work across the board?

I'll agree that this might not be able to be categorized in with what straight edge is, but to me love is not something to throw around. By the time I can say "I love you" to a person, I 99.9% know they don't have a disease, so yes I use love as a rule, odd or not. Yes I agree that love is variable for everyone, but EVERYTHING is variable for everyone. Look at all the rediculous things that people believe out there, look at all the dumbass kids out there that believe you can be straight edge and still smoke ciggerettes, and they consider that NOT breaking edge. Yea it is rediculous, and yes it IS NOT EDGE at all, but that is what they believe, everything has variables, weather it be right or wrong. But in the end, TRUE LOVE and what is is, is caring for someone, loving them, knowing them, liking their personality, and everything about them, would die for them, so yes love does have variables, but TRUE LOVE in my eyes, doesn't. You might believe that love is just sex with someone, but another kid also believes ciggerettes are ok to smoke and be edge too, IT'S NOT EDGE, but it has variable. I think your taking variable, and using in place of the word opinions. Weather is right or wrong, people believe what they believe, and to me TRUE LOVE is the only safe and right way to have sex.

[JoeyX]

btw, just to let you know, I have no problem with you haha, seems like their is some anger in this debate between me and you, and I'm definitely just debating you on this, I'm totally cool with and respect your opinions. Just thought I'd verify that so it didn't seem to get bad.

[straightXed]

Cars aren't a complete neccesity, but they are for people that don't live in a city, that don't have the option of walking 2-3 blocks each way to get whatever it is they made need. I mean yes in the end you could walk, but lets think about this, if everybody in the world walked, and didn't drive, all vehicles included, what would get done? Nothing. We need vehicles, weather it be motorized, a horse pulled it(haha), a bicycle, whatever, walking doesn't cut it for living. Unless you lived in the times where everything was in town, and was only a 5minute walk, which isn't like that in most places. Vehicles and transportation IS necessary, weather you use them or not. Almost everything is done with vehicles, how do you think you get your food at the store? Someone doesn't walk it there. In this day and age, I DO believe vehicles are a neccesity.

Well they are only necessary in order to provide the lifestyle that is based from them, but that lifestyle isn't a necessity.






Yes we can take precautions, and down the percentage of accidents. But in the end, as a whole, even if everybody obeyed the laws of driving, accidents would still happen, that's why they are called accidents, not "oh I was being stupid, and speeding". To me thats not an accident, thats someone being an idiot, and not thinking. So yea I agree with your statement saying you could never fully eliminate car accidnts. and yes I do believe that having sex with someone you don't actually love and care for, is promiscuous.

So what you are saying is accidents can be avoided. Someone speeding is stupid but losing control was not their intent and was accidental, saying its not an accident because they were speeding is wrong. So which is it, is promiscuous sex with someone you don't love or someone you don't care for? So someone who only ever has sex with one person and cares for the other person but because they don't love them its promiscuous? I'd say that inaccurate. So please give me the solid criteria and where the lines are drawn with this.






I still believe cars are a neccesity, and yes they are used for things that you want, but I know that if what I want is not worth risking driving at 3pm on a monday, when the roads are crazily busy, then I'll go sometime when I know it's not busy.

Its still about satisfying a desire more than a need even if you go when the roads are quiet.



And trust me, I'am in no way just calling the girl a slut, I think it is beyond gross on both ends, trust me. So I take back what I said when I called only the girl a "slut". I just think it is gross on both ends, and I wish people would see it for what it CAN do to people, and how you can die, from one night of fucking.

I appreciate that you withdrew the lazy slant against women. You seem hung up on one particular sexual pattern, it seems you are focused on one night stands between people that have only just met. Thats great but this isn't the only way promiscuity occurs and you can have fully safe healthy sexual relationships without being in love so point about sex needing to be associated with love seems flawed if your reasons are because of sexual health issues. I mean we could examine swinging groups, perhaps they aren't completely promiscuous as there is a value of discrimination of partner but it certainly isn't about the love.




I don't think sex with someone you don't love is ok, no matter if you would put a steel condom on, haha. For one thing, I have done it in my past, and to me there is no bond there at all, its boring, but thats just a personal opinion on that.

Ok, you may find it boring but a lot of people do it for the excitement and so you should perhaps entertain the reason that the fact you find it boring may not be entirely about the love.


But I guess if you're being safe about it, then it's not completely wrong, I just still don't see why someone would want to do it. Having sex with someone you love, is way more involved, way more caring, and way more fun haha.

Well what if you love more than one person? Or what if you enjoy entertaining other people sexually whilst you are with someone you love?


You cannot tell me that IF you had sex with some random person you didn't know, in the back of your mind, you can't tell me that you haven't thought while having sex with this random girl, "man, I hope she doesn't have anything". haha, it's kinda funny, but gross.

I find the term random quite odd, what do you mean random, you can fall in love with random people too so whats the issue, do you mean to say stranger as in someone you don't know? And as i have said you can have a sexual relationship that by your definition is promiscuous and that be totally comfortable that they are clean so this again points to it being an issue about unsafe sex rather than an issue of promiscuity. See i see quite a huge area between truly promiscuous behavior and the loving relationship you have in mind and of course multiple variables as well.






I agree with you 100% that love doesn't make sex safer, but I believe that if I love a girl, and I know she loves me back, that I'd be hoping she would tell me if she had something by then.

But again its a sexual awareness thing rather than a love thing, maybe they aren't comfortable with discussing sex or are ashamed to say they have a std or perhaps are too scared to find out. Someone may lie about it because of these factors but it doesn't stop there being a loving bond, other things can stress that loving bond like cheating - you may say that it means there isn't love and i'm not really about to discuss that but i am just throwing ideas at you to think about.


If she doesn't, then it's like back to the car accidents thing, some things you can't prevent. But in the end, I'm not gonna have random sex with a girl, just because I want to get a random fuck.

Again this random thing? I have been in a loving relationship for a long time now and it doesn't make our sex life any less random. What is random sex? Is it like a chaos engine decides the position sex is had in or something? You can be hopelessly in love and still end up with a dose, so back to the car accidents thing if you want to 100% eliminate the chance of an std then you should never have sex, and to eliminate car accidents you should live in a place where there are no cars.



To be honest, that is so disrespectful towards a girl also, not that she is doing anything about it to prevent it either, because she would be involved in the other half of the sexual act. But it is still disrespectful in my eyes, and once again....gross.

How is it disrespectful to a girl, i didn't even specify gender? And if a girl is happy to practice safe sex with a partner that she doesn't love then i fail to see where the disrespect lies. This is beginning to paint a picture of a strange view of woman as a somehow lesser exponent in sexual relationships.










I believe if you love a girl, in the sense that you care for her, have real feelings for her, not just sexual feelings, if you would honestly DIE for her.(by the way I'm only saying her, because I'm saying it from my(a male) point of view, obviously. If you have passion for the other person, if you think about this person non-stop, if you know you want to spend the rest of your life with this person(weather you actually end up in that situation or not). If you love their personality, most of these things you can't attain in one night. You can't love someone's personality in one night, you have absolutely NO IDEA who they are, just from "hanging out" with them one time. How in the fuck can someone have passion for another person, besides lust, when hanging out with them for one even two nights? Another thing, I would never DIE for anybody after meeting them for only one day. Yea I'll agree that if you meet a girl one night, you might really seem to LIKE her, and think about her because you want to get to know her, but that isn't love. I know I never made the decision of wanting to spend the rest of my life with a girl, after one night of meeting her. I believe after all these things, plus more, are true for you, then you are truely in love.

So its a personal belief that describes love or should we follow only your personal belief? Because what if people define love differently to that and they do. How would that relate to something like straightedge, drugs and the like are clear cut but love is vague and involves so many emotional factors that you would find it hard to be certain in all honesty when love is true. Especially if you are someone who is looking to fall in love and could actively convince yourself that it is love you feel.




All in all, for this question, I believe if you TRUELY love the girl, and she TRUELY loves you back, then by then you probably are dating, which to me is fine to have sex as much as you want, because you both care for each other, you're both being safe, you're both making an honest careful decision, not just fucking randomly without knowing the full consequences of what could happen, like pregnancy, or maybe the girl needs to tell the guy to put a condom on cause she has something. I guarantee you, that if anybody randomly had sex with someone who had a disease, they wouldn't know about it until later when they found out themselves they had it. You know just as much as I do, that a girl/guy is not gonna tell the other person they have a disease, after meeting them in one night.

The point i was making is that if you know and care for someone can you have sex with them, you can eliminate the problems of sexual disease it can be a relationship that happens over time but you both know you aren't in love. By your standards its promiscuous but its safe and so i would like to know what the problem is with that if there is one? So try and look beyond one night stands when you answer this.







I don't understand this question completely.

By only having sex when you check all the boxes on your love checklist you meet the requirements of having a sexually safe relationship, thats fine, but i was pointing out that you can meet the requirements of a sexually safe relationship without love being a factor and by using your definition of love as a rule you actually negate that as a possibility. Its obviously fine for you because you think sex is boring if you don't love them but you finding it boring is really no reason to think its bad/wrong for others especially when they are practicing safe sex. And because you personally find something boring really is no good reason for it to equate to edge break, at this point i am wondering how old you are because of the views you hold.







I'll agree that this might not be able to be categorized in with what straight edge is, but to me love is not something to throw around. By the time I can say "I love you" to a person, I 99.9% know they don't have a disease, so yes I use love as a rule, odd or not.


But like i said you can know that without using love so its not a case of being odd its a case of going beyond the required criteria.




Yes I agree that love is variable for everyone, but EVERYTHING is variable for everyone. Look at all the rediculous things that people believe out there, look at all the dumbass kids out there that believe you can be straight edge and still smoke ciggerettes, and they consider that NOT breaking edge. Yea it is rediculous, and yes it IS NOT EDGE at all, but that is what they believe, everything has variables, weather it be right or wrong.

Yes they are ridiculous and wrong because straightedge isn't variable like that, its not a case of ones personal view, its more about a view that is defined by the actuality of the the straight edge sub culture. If love is variable for everyone then you have to agree that whilst your personal criteria might meet a particular goal other peoples criteria of love may not and it may vary from yours. So if you agree its variable then how does it work as a definition of straightedge?



But in the end, TRUE LOVE and what is is, is caring for someone, loving them, knowing them, liking their personality, and everything about them, would die for them, so yes love does have variables, but TRUE LOVE in my eyes, doesn't.

Ok now you say it doesn't have variables, you sound confused. And when you say "TRUE LOVE in my eyes, doesn't" you actually state that its variable by using the term "in my eyes" thats pretty much qualifying that there are other thoughts and angles on true love. Essentially you are either saying all other opinions on true love are wrong and that your rules are the definitive ones or you are simply tying yourself up in your own argument.



You might believe that love is just sex with someone, but another kid also believes cigarettes are ok to smoke and be edge too, IT'S NOT EDGE, but it has variable. I think your taking variable, and using in place of the word opinions. Weather is right or wrong, people believe what they believe, and to me TRUE LOVE is the only safe and right way to have sex.

No i am using the correct word, its undisputed that smoking cigarettes is against edge but because of the variable nature of the definition of love it is highly disputed as a tenant of straightedge, even if we were to agree that it was a tenant of straightedge we would be in a huge quandary to agree upon exactly where the line of love is drawn. Your opinion isn't reflected by the straight edge sub culture as a whole, some may agree with you but its not conclusive, you are of course entitled to hold your opinions but they don't reflect straightedge for a large portion of people. If you believe that your personal definition of true love is the only way to actually have sex safely then thats fine but i think any sensible person can see how that is something you can easily attain without being in love. I understand you find sex boring without love but the point i am illustrating is that safe sex is plausible and completely possible without love and for others that can be quite the opposite from boring.

[straightXed]

btw, just to let you know, I have no problem with you haha, seems like their is some anger in this debate between me and you, and I'm definitely just debating you on this, I'm totally cool with and respect your opinions. Just thought I'd verify that so it didn't seem to get bad.

I don't have a problem although i really wish you would think about what you write a lot more because you are very reactive and i think you would eliminate a lot of the drawn out posting if you were to actually take the time to absorb the different ideas. I feel i am repeating myself because you have missed the point the first time round, perhaps i am at fault in not being clear enough but i really think this discussion can be reduced to a few lines.

[JoeyX]

I'm gonna IM you sometime when you are on, because I'd rather talk to you about this not in a post, it's confusing, and too much to Quote and Unquote. haha.

[XxXbassist]

Update:
Just turned 18
Still Edge
Thanks guys
I guess I didn't put enough thought into my "Denouncing" straight edge.
As in I was just so distraught about the whole predicament that I didn't think of, well dusty puts it so well:


yeah, but that's the point. how does it make sense for you dictate terms like love? How does it make sense within context of sober living? What scale should people use? How many people do you know that have "loved" someone at a point in time only to look back at it and realize that it was really love? Sex is a complicated enough issue without complicating it more with concepts of edge breaks when you can't really qualify or quantify it.


I hope I'm not insulting your intelligence by saying this dusty but that was such a simple way of putting it. (Also kind of poetic.) I can't believe I didn't think of that myself.


Thanks guys, next time I'll breathe before I type

[HunterTrueBlu]

i was always under the impression that the rule was no sex with out serious commitment..... it defiantly IS a part of being edge though
"Don't smoke Don't drink Don't fuck At least I can fucking think"

[SgtD]

i was always under the impression that the rule was no sex with out serious commitment..... it defiantly IS a part of being edge though
"Don't smoke Don't drink Don't fuck At least I can fucking think"
umm, do some research. this issue has been brought up a lot. search the board, read the thread, it 'll give you the required information on this.

[straightXed]

i was always under the impression that the rule was no sex with out serious commitment..... it defiantly IS a part of being edge though
"Don't smoke Don't drink Don't fuck At least I can fucking think"

What denotes serious though, its completely grey and gives no real indication of what is or isn't ok. But quoting lyrics to "out of step" doesn't really make it a part of edge at all. The song "straightedge" makes no mention of sex whatsoever, be it with serious comitment or without so i don't think that makes sex a defined part of being edge at all. Otherwise we would have to take any subject matter discussed vocally by minor threat as a tennent of being straightedge, and lets not forget that they are far from being an authority on what straightedge has become. The people that play the buiggest part in moulding this sub culture is all the kids that adopted the term to describe a set of common beliefs so realistically for it to be a part of straightedge it would need to be a comon belief for everyone involved in straightedge and it would need to have a lot more clarity to it.

[xcriterionmasterx]

does sex mean intercourse, or any sexual act? in my opinion it is just intercourse.

[xsecx]

does sex mean intercourse, or any sexual act? in my opinion it is just intercourse.

why would/should it matter?

[straightXed]

does sex mean intercourse, or any sexual act? in my opinion it is just intercourse.

Whats your definition of intercourse? If its on par with the dictionary definition then i can only assume you are asking if masturbation is considered intercourse?

[xcriterionmasterx]

i was just basically wondering if a blowjob/handjob, in your guy's opinion, counts for breaking edge? (to you guys) sex is very complicated for breaking edge, like xsecx said. i am not going to go fucking around unprotected, and that is basically all i care about.

masturbation definitely doesn't count. and intercourse to me is penis penetrating vagina. i don't know what the dictionary says.

[xCrucialDudex]

i was just basically wondering if a blowjob/handjob, in your guy's opinion, counts for breaking edge?

It's still sex. It can be some sort of a "variety" of sex and/or a part of sexual act. Generally speaking it still is sex.

[straightXed]

i was just basically wondering if a blowjob/handjob, in your guy's opinion, counts for breaking edge? (to you guys) sex is very complicated for breaking edge, like xsecx said. i am not going to go fucking around unprotected, and that is basically all i care about.

None of it counts as breaking edge as there really is no cohesive stand point on it even being a factor of being straightedge. So with regards to straightedge it really doesn't matter if its considered intercourse or not.


masturbation definitely doesn't count. and intercourse to me is penis penetrating vagina. i don't know what the dictionary says.

So in your opinion lesbians are unable to have sexual intercourse unless they have a penis? Or anyone practicing anal sex will not be having intercourse unless a vagina is penetrated? With regards to your definition it really is very narrow and seems to eclipse anything other than hetrosexual vaginal penetration, to help you out i shall put a dictionary definition forward for you to take note of.

this is from a medical dictionary:

intercourse /in·ter·course/ (in´ter-kors)
1. mutual exchange.
2. sexual i.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

sexual intercourse
1. coitus.
2. any physical contact between two individuals involving stimulation of the genital organs of at least one.

http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/intercourse

And another one here from webster:

Main Entry: in·ter·course
Pronunciation: \ˈin-tər-ˌkȯrs\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English intercurse, probably from Middle French entrecours, from Medieval Latin intercursus, from Latin, act of running between, from intercurrere to run between, from inter- + currere to run — more at car
Date: 15th century
1: connection or dealings between persons or groups
2: exchange especially of thoughts or feelings : communion
3: physical sexual contact between individuals that involves the genitalia of at least one person <anal intercourse> <oral intercourse>; especially : sexual intercourse 1 <heterosexual intercourse>

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/intercourse

i put the significant definitions in bold for you and hopefully this will give you a better definition to follow. It should also explain, based on these defintions, exactly why i was thinking you were raising issue with masturbation.

[xsecx]

It should also explain, based on these defintions, exactly why i was thinking you were raising issue with masturbation.
instead of thinking, we play donkey kong.

[straightXed]

instead of thinking, we play donkey kong.


speaking of which, do you know how hard it is to get a wii over here? at least its hard in illinois.

[D1988]

instead of thinking, we play donkey kong.

THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT

[xsecx]

speaking of which, do you know how hard it is to get a wii over here? at least its hard in illinois.

come over and play ours.

[xCAMIx]

yeah, but you're a sellout, so your opinion doesn't really matter.
So now you want to talk shit like a kid straight out of middle school?
Real mature, asshole. I think I understand the meaning of straight edge more than you do. I just gave it up so fuck off.

[xsecx]

So now you want to talk shit like a kid straight out of middle school?
Real mature, asshole. I think I understand the meaning of straight edge more than you do. I just gave it up so fuck off.

do you even understand maturity? I have a feeling you understand as much about maturity as you do straight edge, which is to say, not much at all.

[stepinsideissue]

speaking of which, do you know how hard it is to get a wii over here? at least its hard in illinois.


Damn you were in IL. again and I missed it?! I need to get my ass on here more often.

[stepinsideissue]

speaking of which, do you know how hard it is to get a wii over here? at least its hard in illinois.


Damn you were in IL. again and I missed it?! I need to get my ass on here more often.

[Reno.]

So good you said it twice aye? : P

[D1988]

So good you said it twice aye? : P

He is just trying to increase that post count of his.

[straightXed]

Damn you were in IL. again and I missed it?! I need to get my ass on here more often.

Yes i was and yes you do!

[straightXed]

Damn you were in IL. again and I missed it?! I need to get my ass on here more often.

Yes i was and yes you do!!